this is so dead
You make me able to write. Which is probably the most control anyone could ever have over me.
It’s alright if you can’t stay, but take the chap from my lips and wet them with your tongue before you go, the front door is so heavy and brings in such a draft. I’ll understand if you can’t stay, but pull your shirt off of my back and keep it where it belongs, don’t leave your scent like a trail I could follow to hunt through your ribs and find the right strings to pull. It could leave you mangled. It could leave me lost. I’ll wash you from my skin in the morning. I’ll be just fine if you can’t stay, just pack up your things and leave the rest how you found it. Be careful with my bones and leave the rest how you found it. You can leave the windows open, it’s quite alright if it’s going to be a chilly night, two knees in these sheets is company and three is such a crowd, just leave the touch to a minimum and only tell me what is necessary. As a matter of fact don’t tell me a thing at all. It’s alright if you can’t stay, I’ll understand if you can’t stay, I’ll be just fine if you can’t stay, but don’t tell me. Leave a note that you’re off for coffee, Babe. Whisper it in my ear when you know I am much too unconscious to remember, that you’re off to work, that something came up. We’re out of sugar, and it’s a beautiful day for a walk.
I promise I won’t wither waiting for you to come back, I can play pretend just as well as you. And I will still be here just as I am now, just as you left me, just as you found me. There won’t be questions waiting for you at the door, only cold sleepless knees and bare skin draped along the apartment. Don’t get too picky with your brands, Babe. Come home if your boss raises hell. Don’t go too far.
Don’t go too far.
No matter how upset anyone could make me by leaving or marking my life, I am so comforted by the fact that there will always be someone else to come. There is always someone to follow absolutely everything, whether you want them to or not, whether you are expecting them or not. A late night coffee bump-in, a class, an errand you didn’t plan on making. Suddenly there is someone else. There is always, always, always more to come. Therefore it could never be the end, no matter how much it feels as if it is.